I was just sitting here reading the next chapter of my book when I thought I might take a break and make a little list of goals for myself. After spending a solid ten (or fifteen) minutes very, very carefully drawing out the script “Short Term Goals” in the most Instagram-worthy of text in my little notebook, I got to the good stuff. I started drawing line after little line of things I wanted to accomplish this year. I had basic ones like graduating college in May, learning and experiencing more, traveling, etc. I had specific ones like to get an apartment in a bigger city than Columbus, host my own Christmas party next winter, etc. 

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I am the definition of a planner. I plan literally everything. Not only do I get excited over making grocery lists, I’m the friend who will research and plan an entire girl’s trip in an hour (oh yes, there will be print outs of the itinerary available, as well as an emailed copy that I just sent to you). I honestly wish I was kidding but I don’t even think I’m skimming the surface. I once planned out an entire day’s worth of events for a date… anyways, moving on…

I figured I had given myself enough to work on and to keep myself motivated for the upcoming year, so I went back to reading. Low and behold, the subtitle of the next section is “Forget the Big Goal”, which I had just spent a solid thirty (sixty) minutes working on. F***. 

I thought this would be complete bull due to the fact that I picture every single successful person as being organized and having plan after plan of attack in place for every situation possible. I skeptically continued to read on about how honing in on the bigger picture goals does not allow you to get to that goal any easier. Not only did I realize that was true, but I realized that I made one of these lists every single year… multiple versions, actually… 

How many goals had I already completed and completely moved on from, immediately, due to the looming presence of the ten other goals I had listed on ten other little lines right next to that one? I can tell you. All of them. I had a sudden flashback of the past four years and memories came flooding in. I hadn’t rewarded myself for any of the tasks I had completed in the short term that had ultimately led to the bigger picture of where I am today. 

So, I sat there and remembered things. Things as little as the one day I forced myself out of bed, even though I would have done literally anything on the planet to never leave it again, in order to go into work. Things like the moment I decided I was switching my major a few years ago and felt like I was on the right track for the first time in a long time. Things like the fact that I pushed myself every single day to get to where I am at this very moment. I did that. No one else did that for me. I did it. I had never let myself say that before and honestly it felt amazing. 

No one else needed to hear the things I was grateful for accomplishing. I didn’t need to shout it off the rooftops or get anyone else’s verification that what I had done was meaningful. I didn’t need to prove anything to anyone else. I let myself sit there for a minute and gave myself the acknowledgement I should have been giving myself the entire time. For the big things and the small things, I gave myself a pat on the back, because I’ve forgotten to do that for the past few years. 

There’s absolutely no way I’m going to stop planning, let’s not get crazy here. However, I will vow to stop at the end of each week and tell myself I am proud of me for getting these amazing tasks done, no matter how menial (I am including making my bed. I hate making my freaking bed). 

Side note not only does Target have the cutest full-sized planners BUT they even have the cutest tiny ones. Yes, tiny. Like pocketbook size. You’d be right in assuming that I did buy a full sized one and a miniature one. Even though, let’s be real, I’m not nearly business enough for one planner, let alone two. But it’s so cute and tiny. (And that was an exclusive glimpse into my thought process at every store I have ever entered. Welcome to the female brain). 

Also, just to prove to you how much of a nerd I really am, here’s a little screenshot of a convo between me and my friend. Arguably, she might be just as nerdy as I am… feels good to know I’m not alone on this one.